Former Chamber Exec Jay Stahl Remembered As Friend, Civic Leader

CHATHAM – Jay Stahl is being remembered as an affable friend to many, a gifted singer and tennis player, and a quick-witted business leader who transformed the Chatham Chamber of Commerce during his nearly six-year stint as executive director. Mr. Stahl died on Aug. 3 at the age of 96.

 “Everybody that he met was like a new friend,” said longtime partner Joyce Williams. “He loved making people feel welcome and credible and important in whatever line of work that they were involved in.” A simple walk downtown with Mr. Stahl always took time, as he paused to greet friends and catch up.

 A Dartmouth graduate, Mr. Stahl was in college when he met the woman who would become his wife, Charlotte Cobb of Stage Harbor Road, Chatham. The two were married in 1952, and after a stint in the U.S. Army, Mr. Stahl began a long career with Union Carbide in human resources. He and his growing family traveled the world before he and Charlotte retired to Chatham in 1992. When Charlotte passed away unexpectedly two years later, Mr. Stahl focused on becoming part of the community in Chatham, a place he knew mostly as a summer getaway, but where he still knew only a few people.

 Leveraging his H.R. experience, Mr. Stahl volunteered for the town’s personnel board, where he made friends with several civic leaders and established a relationship with then-Town Manager Thomas Groux, all connections that proved useful when Mr. Stahl interviewed for the position of chamber executive in 1994. At the time, Williams was president of the chamber, leading the board that eventually hired him. “I remember him saying that he was a roll-up-his-sleeves kind of guy,” she recalled.

And he was. Mr. Stahl made friends and connections easily, and focused on finding new quarters for the chamber, which mostly operated from the home of the previous executive. 

“So we had vacant office space in the basement here,” insurance broker Craig Vokey said. “Jay called and said, ‘We’re kind of looking for space.’” He moved in, setting up a new computer on a folding table and getting to work. “We loved having him here,” Vokey said. But Mr. Stahl knew the chamber needed a permanent home, and helped lead the effort to lease the town-owned Bassett House in South Chatham for a new office and visitor center.

 “That was one of his goals,” Williams said. During Mr. Stahl’s tenure, the chamber grew its membership by 25 percent, started a Junior Achievement program, launched a colorful annual celebration called Seafest, established a presence on the web, and began publishing a color visitors’ guide. And for the most part, he was smiling the whole time.

 “Jay didn’t get angry. He sought solutions,” Williams said. “Where other people saw bleakness or frustration, Jay got light.”

 Mr. Stahl lived life fully, savoring regular tennis matches and lending his rich tenor voice to the Chatham Chorale and the Welch men’s choir We Are The Men. His vocal skill, and the fact that he could read music, meant that Mr. Stahl was in demand as a singer. “He sang through all the times of his life,” Williams said. “He sang the day before he died.” 

 Amy Tagliaferri knew Mr. Stahl mostly as a devoted father; three of his children worked with her at the Chatham Squire. “I remember visiting the family at the Corn Crib, their home on Stage Harbor Road. And he and [son] J.C. would meet for lunch at the Squire for many years and always sat at the high top table in the corner across from the jukebox,” she said. “In the past year, I spoke with [daughter] Martha frequently when she would grab pizza to bring to him while he was in Liberty Commons,” Tagliaferri said.

 “I think he’d like to be remembered as a great dad and grandfather,” she said.

 “He was a really astute business guy, and just a lovely man,” Vokey added. “I don’t know another way to describe him. He was living the life, a life fulfilled.”

 “He was a man of strong integrity and of faith and family, and love of life,” Williams said. Mr. Stahl was reliably the last one to leave parties, and loved puns and dad jokes. “He always had a twinkle,” she said.

A celebration of Mr. Stahl’s life will be held at the First Congregational Church of Chatham on Friday, Oct. 23 at 1 p.m.